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Walay Lingaw
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PostSubject: Si Inday!   Wed Sep 26, 2007 12:00 pm

Dahil sa tindi ng kahirapan sa probinsya, namasukan si Inday bilang
katulong sa Maynila. Habang ini-interview ng amo?

Amo: Kelangan namin ng katulong para mag ayos ng bahay, magluto, maglaba,
magplantsa, mamalengke, at magbantay ng mga bata. Kaya mo ba ang lahat ng
ito?

Inday: I believe that my trained skills and expertise in management with
the use of standard tools, and my discipline and experience will contribute
significantly to the value of the work that you want. My creativity,
productivity and work-efficiency and the high quality of outcomes I can
offer will boost the work progress.

Amo: [nosebleed]


Nakaraan ang dalawang araw, umuwi ang amo, nakitang me bukol si junior.


Amo: Bakit me bukol si junior?

Inday: Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the not-so-well
engineered architectural design of our kitchen lavatory affected the boy's
cranium with a slight boil at the left temple near the auditory organ.

Amo: [nosebleed ulit]


Kinagabihan, habang naghahapunan.

Amo: Bakit maalat ang ulam?

Inday: The consistency was fine. But you see, it seems that the increased
amount of sodium chloride (NaCl) affected the taste drastically and those
actions are irreversible. I do apologize.

Amo: [nosebleed na naman]

Donya: Bakit tuwing paguwi ko, nadadatnan kitang nanunuod ng tv?!

Inday: Because I don't want you to see me doing absolutely nothing.

Donya: [hinimatay]


Kinabukasan, sinamahan ni Inday si junior sa principal's office dahil di
makapunta ang amo at donya.

Principal: Sinuntok ni junior ang kanyang kaklase.

Inday: It's absurd! It was never a fact that he will inflict a fight. I can
only imagine how you handle schizophrenic kids on this educational
institution. Revise your policies because they suck!

Principal: [nag resign]


Pag dating sa bahay, nandun na ang amo, galit na galit.

Amo: Inday, bakit nagkalat ang basura sa likod ng bahay?!

Inday: A change in the weather patterns might have occurred wrecking havoc
to the surroundings. The way the debris are scattered indicates that the
gust of wind was going northeast causing damage to the path it was heading
for.

Amo: [nosebleed ulit]


Habang nagluluto si Inday ng hapunan, malikot si junior.

Inday: Stop your raucous behavior. It is bound to result in property
damages and if that happens there will be corresponding punishment to be
inflicted upon you!

Junior: [takbo sa CR, punasan ang nagdudugong ilong]


Pagkatapos magluto, nanood na ng TV si Inday. Nabalitaan nya umalis si
Angel Locsin sa GMA 7.

Junior: Bakit kaya sya umalis?

Inday: Sometimes, people choose to leave not because of selfish reasons but
because they just know that things will get worse if they'll stay. Leaving
can be a tough act, and it's harder when people can't understand you for
doing so.

Junior: [tuloy ang pagdugo ng ilong]


Nung gabing yon, me nag text ke Inday. Si Dodong, ang driver ng
kapitbahay, gusto maki pag text-mate.

Inday: To forestall further hopes of acquaintance, my unfathomable
statement to the denial of your request - Petition denied.


Di nagla-on, dahil sa tyaga ni Dodong, nagging syota nya rin si Inday.
Pero di tumagal ang kanilang relasyon, at nakipag-break si Inday ke Dodong.


Inday: The statute restricts me to love you but you have the provocations.
The way you smile is the proximate cause why I love you. We have some rules
to think of. We have no vested rights to love each other because the upper
household dismissed my petition!"

Dodong: Perhaps you are mistaken, what you seem to contrive as any
affections for you are somewhat half-hearted. I was merely attempting to
expand my network of interests by involving you in my daily recreation.
Heretofor, you can expect an end to any verbal articulation from myself"


Me dumaan na mamang basurero, at narinig ang usapan ni Inday at Dodong.

Basurero (sabi ke Inday): Be careful in letting go of the things you
thought are just nothing because maybe someday you'll realize that the one
you gave away is the very thing you've been wishing for to stay.

Narinig ang lahat ng eto ng amo ni inday.

Amo: [nagpakamatay]


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PostSubject: Re: Si Inday!   Wed Sep 26, 2007 12:27 pm

taga call center tingali ni si inday...
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PostSubject: Re: Si Inday!   Wed Sep 26, 2007 5:51 pm

mao.. perting iningles.. heheh..
nosebleed oi! hasta ko.. Very Happy

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PostSubject: Re: Si Inday!   Tue Nov 06, 2007 8:06 pm

Nasali si Inday sa Deal or No Deal



Oct 14th, 2007 by Inday



Kris: Magandang gabi mga kapamilya, sa gameshow na ito importante ang sagot sa nag-iisang katanungang Deal or no Deal. Ang ating player ngayong gabi ay walang iba kundi ang fastest-rising household services manager na si Inday!

[umentra si Inday at nagpalakpakan ang mga tao]

Kris: Ok Inday, choose a briefcase.

Inday: Kris, I would opt for case #4 please.

Kris: Briefcase # 4… si Sharmel. Inday, matanong ko lang, how did you come up with the number 4?

Inday: Oh, do you really want to know Kris?

Kris: Oo naman. I’m sure kaya ko naman maintindihan yung sasabihin mo eh.

Inday: The number 4 was acquired based on a probability distribution function that involves integrating up to an area greater than or equal to that random number which should be generated between 0 and 1 for proper distributions.

Kris: Syet. tanong tanong pa kasi eh.



———————



Kris: Ok Inday, choose 6 briefcases to open.

Inday: I would opt for 7, 24, 12, 2, 15 and 20.

Kris: Wait lang Inday, usually isa isa lang ang pagbubukas natin ng case…

Inday: Why is that? As if I can change the outcome if we’re to open a case each time I blurt out a number as opposed to opening each case immediately one after the other right?

Kris: Hayyy…babaguhin pa talaga mechanics (bulong sa sarili).

Kris: Anwyay, di bale na lang nga… tuloy tayo. Number 7. Natalie buksan na!!

[Yung audience sumisigaw ng LOWER!! LOWER!!!]

Kris: Teka lang, bago natin buksan… Inday, usually ang mga contestants naten ay sumisigaw ng “LOWER” every time magbubukas ng case.

Inday: Kris, I guess that’s not the way I was taught in grade school. You see, I was taught that we should only use the comparative form of the word or add “ER” to the adjective if we are comparing two things. And since it is only the first briefcase that we are going to open, we have nothing to compare it to. Am I right?

[natahimik ang audience at napaisip]

Kris: Oo nga no!

———————-
Kris: Sige Natalie, Buksan mo na.

[Ang laman ng briefcase 7 ay Piso… Palakpakan ang mga tao]

Kris: Good start! Ano yung next case mo ulit?

Inday: Case number 24 please.

Kris: Chloe… buksan na…

[Audience sumisigaw ulit ng LOWER!! LOWER!!]

Kris: Wait lang guys, Inday may nabuksan ng case baket di ka pa rin sumisigaw ng “Lower”?

Inday: Oh my goodness Kris, how long have you been doing this? Have you ever encountered a value that is lower than a peso in this game? Tell me, is there any value left lower than the one we just opened? Sheesh.

[Napaisip ulit ang audience at natahimik]

Kris: Aarrgghh!!!! Chloe buksan na lang nga, pati na rin yung 12, 2, 15 and 20 buksan na rin para matapos na. [naiirita na]

[At sunod sunod na ngang nabukas ang mga case ni Inday]

[nag-ring ang phone]

Inday: Ahh Kris, to save more time can you tell Banker that I’m not interested in his first offer. In the history of this game of chance, I have yet to see someone accept a first offer from the banker. It’s quite pathetic and pretentious for contestants to pause and look around the audience as if asking for advice before ultimately rejecting the first offer. I mean come on, isn’t that a waste of airtime?

Banker: Potahhh!!! [narinig sa set kahit sarado ang kwarto ni banker]

- Ito ang unang pagkakataon na marinig ng mga audience ang boses ni banker sa Deal or no Deal.



————



… dumating na sa kalagitnaan ng show at mukhang minamalas na si Inday…

Kris: Ok Inday, mukhang kelangan na natin ng tulong sa mga friends mo… sino ba yung bigotilyong lalaki na naka-polo? Ano name nya?

Inday: Ahh, that’s my master Mr. Montemayor.

Kris: Ahhh sya pala yun, how cute naman pala eh. Sige sir, give us a number.

Mr. Montemayor: Hi Kris, good evening. I’m a fan. I choose number 22 please.

Kris: Ano Inday ok ba yung number 22?

Inday: Whatever, we shouldn’t bite the hand that feeds us anyway. Go ahead.

Kris: [taray naman] Sofie, buksan na!

[ang laman ng briefcase 22 ay 5,000]

Kris: Good job! Sino naman yung gwapong lalake na naka jumper na katabi ni Mr. Montemayor? What’s his name?

Inday: Ahh, that’s my on again off again boyfriend, Dodong the gardener.

Kris: Ooohh, sya pala yun. Ok Dodong, give us a number!

Dodong: Hi babes, I choose briefcase 9 if it’s ok with you. If not, it’s ok with me as long as it’s ok with you.

Kris: Ano raw? Inday, number 9 daw ok say0?

Inday: Yes Kris, it’s fine with me.

Kris: Wow ang bait pag kay Dodong. Ederlyn… buksan na!!

…nanlaki ang mga mata ni Inday at hindi sya makapaniwala. Natahimik at mukhang kakapusin sya ng hininga…

Inday: YOU!!! How dare you invade my moment!

[nagulat si Kris at ang mga audience sa reaksyon ni Inday. Nagpatawag si Kris ng commercial break at nagpakuha ng tubig para kay Inday.]



—————–



Nagkatitigan sina Inday at Ederlyn. Nakangisi si Ederlyn habang hawak ang briefcase ni Inday.

Ederlyn: Pinapangako ko, Inday… pagbukas luluhod ang mga tala! hahahahaha!

Inday: What? Can you speak up? What are you mumbling up there. Can somebody give her a microphone please?

Kris: Ano ba!! Tama na nga ang drama ninyo, Ederlyn buksan mo na ang case at umexit ka na kung ayaw mong mapalitan! (naiirita na si Kris)

Dali-daling binuksan ni Ederlyn ang briefcase at ang laman ay… P3,000,000.

Nanghinayang ang mga audience… Ang mga natirang values ay 250, 1K, 20K, 50K, and 500K.

Inday: NooOoo…. (sabay tingin kay Dodong at napapaluha), how could you…

Dodong: I’m so sorry Inday, please forgive me.

Kris: Hayyy, drama again. Ang offer ni banker sa pagbabalik ng Kapamilya, Deal.. or No Deal!

[pagtapos ng commercial break… mukhang composed na ulit si Inday]

Kris: Inday, are you okay? Ang offer ni banker ay 99 thousand pesos. ‘Sing rami siguro ng pilipinong pinadugo mo na ilong. Is it a Deal or No Deal?

Tahimik lang si Inday tilang may kinocompute sa ulo habang ang mga audience ay nagsisigawan ng “No Deal”, ang iba naman ay “Deal”.

Kris: Wait lang, kung mapapansin ninyo we have only have 5 cases left, and among those 5, apat doon ay mas maliit na value…

Inday: Kris, do you mind? Can I do my own thinking?

Natameme si Kris, pati ang audience ay natahimik.

Kris: Taray to the max! (pabulong sa sarili)

Inday: Ok, I’m ready. Upon looking at the reality of the situation, 80% of the cases left have at least 49K less than the banker’s offer. The only way I can do better than what is offered is that if my case contains the 500k or I’d get to open one of the four lower values. But I have to keep in mind that there’s only 20% probability that this would happen. I have to take note, however, that the banker’s offer is roughly around 15% lower than the offer I expected based on the arithmetic mean of the values left.

Kris: Lorddd… panaginip ba ‘to? Ayokonaaa….

Inday: Accepting a deal for less than the mean should generally be regarded as a weak decision so I would say, NO DEAL!



—————



Limang briefcase na lang ang natitira at kasama na doon ang case ni Inday…

Kris: My God, nakaka-stress itong episode na ito ha. Baka dumugo na rin ang ilong ko sa’yo Inday. Sige Inday, go ahead and choose 1 briefcase!

Inday: Ok Kris, I choose briefcase #5 please?

Kris: Briefcase #5! Mimi bago mo buksan yan I would first like to thank Figliarina by Schubizz for my sandals, Bambi Fuentes for my hair and make-up and Pepsi Herrera for my gown tonight.

Kris: Ok Mimi, buk…

Inday: Ahh Kris, can I also take time to thank a few people? I mean, I did save us a few minutes of airtime right?

Kris: (“kapal naman talaga ng mukha”…bulong sa sarili) Sige, ok lang go ahead. (naka-smile pa rin)

Inday: Thanks! Yes, I would like to thank Frank Provost for my hair and make-up, Jimmy Choo for my sandals and my dear friend Oscar dela Renta for my gown tonight.

BLAG!! Tinumba ni Kris ang podium at nagwalk-out. Hindi na natapos ang show kaya’t binigyan na lang ni Banker si Inday ng kalahating milyon para sa kanyang oras.

Inday: Oh, and thanks to the people of Cartier for sending me these nice earrings for tonight!

[Ito ang isa sa mga un-aired episode ng Kapamilya, Deal or No Deal]

<fin>

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PostSubject: Re: Si Inday!   Thu Nov 22, 2007 7:56 am

Heart broken

Sometimes, we fall in love and thought that it would be endless, we thank God for it.. but when someone comes and to make life better, what can we ask God then? You know what, I would ask God to make me love again… and this time.. make it permanent..
-

Sinabi ni Inday sa kanyang sarili ng iwan siya ni Dodong.

Sexual harassment again

“Please.. It is indeed reprehensible for us to have carnal knowledge. If you be adamant to unlawfully intercalate your limb into my citadel of pleasure I would be legally responsible to allege this juncture to your spouse.”

Sa Tagalog: “koya wag po. magsusumbong ako kay atih. – INDAY

Napagsabihan

In this world, what you orate gives a reflection of your inner self, your soul… though i have nothing against your wisdom and philosophical approaches, it seems that i see a certain clash between your thoughts and your projected manners. you seem to be flaccid, sometimes a propos the way u establish a persiflage, and honestly it gives ennui to my work now making me an otiose person…

– sagot ni manang labandera nang mapuno na kay Inday

Despedida party

Ei guys I’m leaving soon.. I’m having my despedida party on Friday, October 12, 2007, at the Hiphop VIP Lounge Embassy, at the Fort.. I just invited a few friends so your presence will be greatly appreciated.. I will be at the VIP Lounge by 10pm… I’m really looking forward to see you there because I want to spend my last days here in Manila with you guys.. c yah!! =)

- text ni Inday sa mga friends nya kasi mgbabakasyon siya sa probinsya.


Pintura

Matapos pinturahan ni Junior ang pinto…

Junior: Tapos na!!

Inday: The area by the hinges, are you done with that?

Junior: Baket pa? [habang kamot ng ulo]

Inday: Listen boy, don’t you dare disregard that area. Don’t you know if that part is not protected by paint, the weathering process removes about ¼ inch of wood per century from it on vertical exposures; even more wood is eroded in severe exposures. Furthermore, because the door is exposed to moisture, it is also subject to decay.


Junior: Wahhh! Mommmyyyy… [sabay takbo sa loob]

Nakabasag si Junior

Amo: Bakit nakabasag ng chinese vase si Junior?

Inday: There is no allusion of doubt nor the presumption of guilt that a mere wanton display of a cajoling crop of youth could possibly render the horticultural vessel in its now disparaged state.

Amo: [dugo na naman ilong]


Internet

“You might not appreciate it or understand its paramount significance when it comes to maintaining harmonious relationships with people living in and outside the country. but processing both FRIENDSTER and MULTIPLY accounts and keeping them updated and active is a necessity in this highly technological world. Furthermore, my chance of meeting a bachelor increases each time i uploaded to these websites photos of myself in various states of undress. now, excuse me as i still have to approve four delectable testimonials from men who apparently have been salivating after me.”


- ganito magpaalam si inday sa kanyang amo para mag-internet.

Hamon ni Simang

How dare you create such an ostentatious vector for your self promotion. This is an utter insult to Ederlyn, Dodong and Me. You use us in parodies to inculcate in the minds of these pseudo-intellectual readers that we are inferior to you? I demand a public apology, or else I will concoct another channel by which your readers will be drawn to me. Or, you can just feature me here as your regular “antagonist”. Deal or no deal?

(*nakapamewang at suot ang alahas ni Madame Imelda.)

(*Si Simang ay nainggit sa kasikatan ni Inday at gustong pabagsakin at palitan ito)


Sagot ni Inday kay Simang


Simang? are you an Ederlyn-reincarnate? Is this the reason why Ederlyn became silent for quite some time? To hone her linguistic skills then change her name to Simang to rise up and try to usurp my popularity? I see the parallelism to the life of Jose Rizal thus, making you an adversary worthy of my time. By the way, are you also a household services manager like me or just a simple prenominal commodity merchandiser?

(*tinanggap ni Inday ang deal ni Simang na mukha yatang isang sari sari store vendor lamang)

Nainggit si Simang sa kasikatan nila Inday at Ederlyn

Do I have to reiterate as often as possible that my the anatomical structure of the two inferior domesticated wannabes are far worse than the aesthetics of my feline pet named Galandra? Obviouly these friggin’ she-hawks are just trying to seize the attention of the masses: trying hard social climber impotents.”

Pacquiao vs. Barrera

Amo: Yan Pacman, patumbahin mo na!! Tirahin mo ng kaliwa mo, yan uppercut! Bilis matatapos na ang round! Ay grabe what a cheap shot. Duga mo Barrera porke talo ka lang…

Inday: Sir pardon my interruption but I need to send an SMS message to Dodong…

Amo: Ay pambihira ka Inday, patapusin mo man lang itong round! Teka lang…


- Nanonood ang amo ni Inday ng Pacquiao vs Barrera match live via myTV sa Nokia N77 ni Inday.


Christmas Wish List Part 2

1. Nokia N93 Cellphone
2. Bvlgari Jewelry Set
3. Michel Herbelin Newport Royale Watch
4. Long Gown by Monique Lhullier with matching
5. Stuart Weitzman Diamond Encrusted Shoes
6. Callaway Golf Clubs
7. Golf Lessons at The Orchard
8. BMW X5 SUV (will be used to pick up junior from school)
9. Chanel No.5 perfume
10. Victoria ’s Secret Matching Leopard Underwear (for Sir)
11. Estée Lauder Cosmetics
12. Palm 02 (to organize my sched with)
13. Chinchilla White Mink Fur Coat
14. Birkin Bag by Hermes
15. A New Apron Designed by Christian Lacroix



Mr. Peanut

Nagmamani: ah mani mani mani malutong mani kayo dyan oh! Limang piso lang mani kayo dyan oh!

Inday: Mr. Peanut, are those nuts cropped from a high class soil fertilized through an advanced agricultural method to produce a rich tasted appetizer which you, Mr. Peanut, dried it in a premium grade 0% fat canola oil with a low salt solution to consider those low cholesterol diet practitioner like me?

Nagmamani: Pakyu!


Camille Pratts

Premarital sex may breed unplanned pregnancies, broken families, irresponsible parents and societal complications. It’s chaotic.

- Comment ni Inday sa sarili tungkol sa pagbubuntis ni Camille Prats habang nanonood ng The Buzz


Katrina Halili


One day Katrina Halili went to FHM to see if she is still the # 1. She picked a magazine and read it. Afterwards, tinapon niya ang magazine sabay sigaw,

“Punyeta!! Sino si Inday?”

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PostSubject: Re: Si Inday!   Fri Nov 23, 2007 12:55 am

hahahhaa

nice one!
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PostSubject: Re: Si Inday!   Fri Nov 23, 2007 11:10 pm

grabihang inday oi!

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PostSubject: Re: Si Inday!   Tue Nov 27, 2007 5:34 am

Sikata na aning inday oi!!!!

hahahah

First nko nabantayan kay sa tx pa mn na si inday!

wehehehehe
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PostSubject: Re: Si Inday!   Tue Feb 12, 2008 10:55 pm

wala nay lain? heheh..

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PostSubject: Re: Si Inday!   Tue Mar 11, 2008 3:42 pm

maypa kng si inday na lng nag-Miss World 2008 heheh
pero unsa sad kaha nawong ni Inday noh? hehheh

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PostSubject: Re: Si Inday!   Tue Mar 11, 2008 4:43 pm

chx kaau na si indy oi! maypa sya to ang ma miss 2008.. hheh.

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PostSubject: Re: Si Inday!   Wed Mar 12, 2008 10:52 am

basin mag nosebleed ta kung c sinday ang niapil sa bb. pilipinas..Smile[/img]
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PostSubject: Re: Si Inday!   Wed Mar 12, 2008 2:28 pm

brain lg cguro ang i present niya.. wala na beauty.hihihi
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PostSubject: Reaksyon ni Inday sa mga negatibong komento   Thu Jun 12, 2008 10:24 am

Nilabas ni Inday ang bulletin na ito para sagutin ang mga nagrereklamo sa kanyang pagiging sikat:

TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:

I would like to take exception to the unwanted and unsolicited opinions that my popularity is not good to the name and standing of all Pinay maids, in particular, and the whole Filipino people, in general. To my detractors, I say stop your derogatory, if not envious, bent. I’m proud of being a maid. The work may be menial but it is honorable. I urge my idol and manay Miriam to call for a bicameral investigation in aid of legislation regarding
this matter.

Sincerely,
Inday
(taray talaga!)

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PostSubject: Re: Si Inday!   Thu Jun 12, 2008 10:37 am

BEDTIME


Pasado 10 pm ay naabutan ni ma’am si Junior na gising pa at naglalaro ng PSP.

Ma’am: Junior, ba’t gising ka pa? Tigilan mo na yang paglalaro mo at matulog ka na!

Junior: Wait mommy, hanapin ko lang yung save point.

Ma’am: Aba… pinahintay pa ako. Inday!!!!


Tumigil si Inday sa pag-bloblog at lumapit sa kanila…

Inday: What now?

Ma’am: Ilang beses ko bang sasabihin sa’yo na wag mo nang papahiramin kay Junior ang PSP mo tuwing school nights?

[Sosyalin talaga si Inday, may PSP pa]

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PostSubject: Re: Si Inday!   Thu Jun 12, 2008 10:51 am

Letter of Appreciation


Natandaan niyo pa ba ang napanalunang kalahating milyon ni Inday sa Deal or No Deal?

After buying things for her own and her family, she donated the rest to an elementary school in the province. The principal of the school recently wrote a letter to thank her for her generosity.

Dear Inday:

Thank you very much for your contribution to Marupok Elementary School. Your gift of 44 Intel Core 2 Duo computers (Windows Vista Ultimate included) with Flat Screen LCD monitors have been added to our expanding computer laboratory. We are grateful for your donation because it can be used by all of our students to enhance their developing computer skills.

Your generosity will make an immediate difference in the lives of many students here at Marupok Elementary School.

With the recent financial hardships of our educational system, gifts such as yours are very much appreciated. Your computers will help provide many children with skills they will need in the future.

Your thoughts toward education are uplifting.

On behalf of the faculty and students of Marupok Elementary, thank you. Please remember to speak with your accountants as your gift may be tax deductible.

Sincerely yours,

Sastrenito Q. Valderitas
Principal, Marupok Elementary School

- May pagka-philanthropist din pala itong si Inday.

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Registration date : 2007-09-24

PostSubject: nag Wowowee si Inday!   Thu Jun 12, 2008 11:06 am

Naging contestants sina Inday at Ederlyn sa Wowowee.

Willie: Kapamilya, ang ating mga kalahok ngayon ay mga maid or mga yaya… mga kasambahay minsan kung tawagin. Sila ang dahilan kung baket nananatiling malinis ang bahay natin, may pagkain sa hapagkainan kung pagod tayo para magluto. Sila ang naghuhugas ng pinggan, naglalaba at nag-aalaga sa mga anak natin. Aminin na naten, mahihirapan din tayo pag wala sila.

Willie: Sige tawagin na naten ang mga unang maglalaro.

Umentra sina Inday at Ederlyn at pumwesto sa magkabilang panig ni Willie.

Kinausap muna ni Willie si Ederlyn. Excited sobra si Ederlyn, sigaw ng sigaw ng “Papiii”!!

Willie: Hello kamusta ka? Anong name mo?

Ederlyn: Ederlyn po papi!! I’m fine thanks!!! (excited talaga)

Willie: Ederlyn, taga-saang probinsya ka?

Ederlyn: I’m from here lang in Metro Manila papi!!! You’re hansam pala in personal!

Willie: Wow, thank you ha. Ilang taon ka na Ederlyn?

Ederlyn: 20 po papi!!

Willie: Ahh, kamusta mga magulang mo, nasan sila?

Ederlyn: Di ko po alam papi!! In their house lang yun siguro. I am staying with my amo.

Willie: Ahhh so sino yung nagbabantay ng bahay ngayon? Alam ba ng amo mo na nandito ka sa Wowowee?

Ederlyn: Yung amo ko po nag-stay sa house. Pinayagan nya naman ako at she also gave me bus fare to go here so I could join.

Willie: Wow, ang bait naman. Meron ka bang message para sa amo mo?

Ederlyn: Ma’am thank you po for giving me pamasahe to go here, don’t worry I will pay you. The trash at the back I will throw later, I am not finish sweeping the floor in your room. The fruit salad in the ref is already panis, don’t eat it. Pa-throw na lang po in the trash can.

Willie: Aba! Astig ka rin ah, inutusan mo pa amo mo. Sa magulang mo baka may message ka.

Ederlyn: Ahmm… Nay, Tay! How are you guys? I’m doing fine here at Wowowee. I know you are watching me. Thank you for your patronage. That’s all papi!

Willie: Nyak! O sige anong talent mo?

Ederlyn: I will sing po papi! Nothing’s gonna change my love for you!

Willie: O sige, Ladies and Gentlemen… Miss Ederlyn.

Kinuha ni Ederlyn ang mikropono at pumunta na sa gitna at nagsimulang kumanta.

Ederlyn: If I had to live my life without you near me…. The days would all be empty…

Umabot na sa chorus…

Ederlyn: Nothing’s gonna change my love for you, you know naman my love how much I love you. One thing you can be sure of, I’ll never ask for more than your love…

At natapos na rin si Ederlyn. Naghiyawan at nagtawanan ang mga tao. Pati si Willie di makatigil sa kakatawa.

Willie: Ayos ka rin Ederlyn! Lalabas siguro ito sa youtube. Anyway, eto ang five thousand pesos mo pati ang gift bag from Liveraide!!

Ederlyn: (tuwang tuwa) Thank you po Kuya Willie!!

Willie: O sige dito naman tayo sa next contestant naten.

Humarap si Willie kay Inday na mukhang nabobored.

Willie: Hi miss, anong name mo?

Inday: Hi Mr. Revillame, my name is Inday.

Willie: Aba isa pang inglesera. Ok mga katulong naten ngayon ah, nakakaaliw sila.
-------------------------------

For the previous part, please click HERE.

Naisipan din na kausapin ni Willie si Inday ng Ingles. Alam niyo naman si papi, palabiro.

Willie: So Inday, how are you today?

Inday: I just answered that question earlier. If you have nothing else left to ask, can we just continue?

Willie: Ahhmm, it’s ok. I still have some questions for you. Ahh, what province are you from?

Inday: I’m from the City of Majestic Waterfalls, Iligan.

Willie: Ahhh, that’s very nice. Is your parents there? Why don’t you greet them?

Inday: Yes, they’re there but my mom does not watch Wowowee. She usually watch The Tyra Banks Show at this time of the day. My dad seldom watches TV.

Willie: Oh I see, why doesn’t she watch Wowowee, am I not handsome or funny for her?

Inday: Let’s just say that it might have something to do with substance, plus Tyra is more pleasing to the eye than you.

Napahiya si Willie.

Willie: Ohh ok. Well greet her anyways, maybe she change the channel during commercial.

Pumayag na rin si Inday na batiin ang kanyang nanay.

Inday: Hi Mom, if you’re really watching this…

Sumingit saglit si Willie.

Willie: Inday, why don’t you greet her in your dialect?

Inday: (Tinignan ng masama si Willie) Why don’t you keep quiet for a sec and let me greet her in my own way?

Napahiya ulit si Willie…

Willie: Ok sorry, please continue.

Inday: Hi mom, please check your Paypal account to see if the money I sent you has arrived. Did you like the Marc Jacobs handbag I sent you last Christmas? Please tell Iying to catch me online so I can walk her through jailbreaking her iPod Touch. Hi to Dad, Itoy and Ikling. Love you all!

Natameme si Willie sa pagkasosyal ni Inday at ng kanyang pamilya.

Willie: Woww… How sweet naman. Can I ask you what year uhh… I mean anong year ang natapos mo sa schooling mo? Because you’re good in English, maybe you reached 4th year high school?

Inday: So what are you implying? That maids are dumb and cannot speak perfect English nor have good education? If I told you my academic achievements you might run outside and fling yourself into a speeding truck. Let’s just say that I was blessed with proper education with the help of a few scholarship grants and was able to finish college and a couple of master’s degree.

Dumugo na ang ilong ni Willie at nagpakuha muna ng tissue at tubig bago nagpatuloy.

Willie: Ahmm ok… uhh.. tama na siguro yung mga tanong. Pero bago ang lahat nais ko lang batiin ang isang special guest na dumalo ngayon dito sa studio… the lovely Kris Aquino.

Na-focus ang camera kay Kris na nakatayo sa gilid.

Kris: Hi Willie, o anoh? Diba winarn na kita tungkol dyan kay Inday kanina bago ka lumabas. Anoh, naniwala ka na?

Willie: Di ko naman kasi alam parang jinojoke mo lang ako kanina eh.

Kris: Well… gusto ko lang makita talent ni Inday kaya ako bumisita. Baka talent nya ay wawalisin itong set in under 1 minute. Ahihihi.

Willie: ‘Kaw talaga Kris iba ka kung manlait.
--------------------------------

For the previous part, please click HERE.

Talent portion na ni Inday.

Willie: Ok Inday, anong talent ang gagawin mo ngayon?

Inday: I suppose I could sing one of my favorites, Time to Say Goodbye.

Willie: Sige, Ladies and Gentleman… Ms. Inday.

Pumwesto na si Inday sa harap ng entablado. Pinatahimik niya ang audience… nakatingin lang sa kanya si Kris. Sinenyasan nya ang DJ na patugtugin ang kanyang CD dahil di kakayanin ng banda patugtugin ang kakantahin nya.

Nagsimula na si Inday kumanta…

Inday: Quando sono sola Sogno all’orrizonte E mancan le parole… Si lo so che non c’e’ luce In una stanza quando manca il sole Si non ci sei tu con me, con me…

Umabot na sa chorus at bumanat pa lalo si Inday…

Inday: Time to… say goodbye… Paesi che no ho mai Veduto e vissuto con te… Adesso si li vivro’ con te partiro’…

Nagtayuan ang karamihan sa audience, mga matatanda, foreigners, OFWs, balikbayan. Pinalakpakan si Inday… napaluha din ang iba. Pati si Kris at Willie namangha at nanood na lang sa rendition ni Inday ng kanta ni Andrea Bocelli.

Pinatapos ni Willie ang buong kanta, di akalaing kaya ng isang katulong ang kumanta ng opera.

Pagkatapos ni Inday, binigyan siya ng standing ovation ng audience, pati mga promo girls tumigil sa pagkekembot para palakpakan siya. Umalis na si Kris sa studio ng luhaan, apektado sa kanta ni Inday.

Willie: Wow!! That’s unbelievable! Ang galing ha, ang lakas pala ng boses mo. Dahil sa ginawa mong yan, ito ang 50,000 pesos para sayo at lahat ng nakadisplay dito sa likod ko, pwede mo nang iuwi. Meron dyang Magic Sing, My Marvel Taheebo at kung anu-ano pa.

Sumingit si Ederlyn.

Ederlyn: Papi ba’t saken 5,000 pesos lang? Unfair naman yun.

Willie: Gusto mo bawiin ko? Mali mali nga lyrics mo dyan. Galingan mo na lang sa laban niyo ni Inday.

Ederlyn: (natahimik na lang) Sige po papi.

Willie: Ok alam niyo na ang gagawin? Kelangan niyong mahulaan ang title ng kantang papatugtugin at kakantahin niyo pagkatapos ok? Pag di niyo naikanta ng maayos, 1 point lang. Pag-maka 2 points kayo, pasok na kayo sa next round.

Willie: Ok ready? Paunahan ito… pwesto!

Tumugtog na ang Perfect ng True Faith, umabot na sa chorus bago nahulaan ni Ederlyn ang kanta.

Edelryn: Ferfect papi!! Ferfect!!!!

Natawa na lang si Willie.

Willie: O sige pwede na rin… Perfect… Sing it!!

Ederlyn: Baby as I look into your eyes… New York ferfect… Judging from the way you meet my eye… New York Ferfect…. Ferfect….

Sumasakit ang tyan ni Willie sa kakatawa kaya’t pinatigil nya na si Ederlyn.

Willie: Hoi, san niyo ba nakuha ito? (tawa ng tawa habang kausap ang direktor)

Willie: Sorry Ederlyn pero mali na naman ang lyrics mo. Di bale bawi ka na lang sa susunod… Inday, pwede ka pang humabol. Sige pwesto!!

Tumugtog na ang Smack That ni Akon… naunahan na naman ni Ederlyn si Inday na may kausap sa kanyang cellphone.

Ederlyn: Papi Ismak Dat!! (Kinanta pa ng gaga… Ismak Dat Olonggapo… Ismak Dat Fernando Poe)

Natawa na naman si Willie.

Willie: Pambihira ka talaga. Di mo na kelangan kantahin pero tama ang sagot mo kaya’t pasok ka na!!

Tuwang tuwa si Ederlyn at di humihinto sa kakapalakpak at kakatalon.

Willie: I’m sorry Inday pero…

Natameme si Willie paglingon nya kay Inday at may kausap sa phone. Sinenyasan siya ni Inday na saglit lang.

Natapos na rin si Inday sa phone.

Inday: I’m sorry Mr. Revillame but I just got a call from the other station and they’re sending someone over to pick me up. They want to talk about guesting me and letting me sing me on their show this Sunday. I’ll just take the cash and leave the other stuff here for the other contestants. Thanks and Ciao!

Laglag-panga si Willie at pinanood na lang ang pag-alis ni Inday.

fin

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